He'll Find Me

"When I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me..." Micah 7:8

I was 11 years old the first time I ran away from home.  I was angry with my step dad over a disagreement I can't even recall, but I remember traveling several blocks from home to hide myself on a swing in a large field of a nearby school.

There I sat in my self imposed isolation....looking down on the ground while I drew meaningless pictures with my feet in the mulch.  I remember it was night time, and it was cold out.  I left in such a rage, I hadn't grabbed my coat.. and I was beginning to feel the consequences of my foolishness!

I felt very alone the moment I realized how cold it was.  The swing was uncomfortable, and the ground too was hard to sit on...but I was too embarrassed ... too proud to go back... so I just sat there...shivering... silently battling in rage with my own thoughts.

Has that ever happened to you?  Have you ever just replayed conflicts in your mind hoping you'll find solutions....."how could I have said this better? "What could I have done to prevent that misunderstanding..." "can I get a do-over?"--I find I do this often even now.. years later.

I remember...after sitting alone on that swing for a while...hearing the unmistakable sound of footsteps.  I looked toward the street and saw a large shadowy figure walking toward me.  Before I could catch my breath, I felt a big hand gently touch my shoulder.

It was my brother James.  He had found me in the dark, and without a word, I took his hand and walked with him home.  No words were exchanged and no explanations were necessary.  He had come for me, and I was glad.

I'm no longer a child... yet, often, I find myself doing childish things: running away from problems; allowing disagreements to separate me from the ones I love.  Still... Jesus is near me, and my brother's example of Jesus' love for me is comforting.

I don't have to fill the empty air with alienated thoughts, doubts and fear...I just have to be still and wait for the Lord's presence.  Wait for that big hand to rest on my shoulder...He'll come and find me... and I'll be glad!